My Love Affair with an Artist
(c) 1997 J.F. Kelley
Dearest Love,
Even though I will speak with you today,
I wanted to write you this letter
To tell you on paper
how much you mean to me.
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I never thought
I would fall in love
with an artist.
An artist with so many voices.
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You paint with such beautiful colors;
the life you bring to the things you sculpt
takes my breath away.
And the music you have composed
takes me away to a different,
wonderful place.
How do you do it?
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I love everything you have made,
just as I love you.
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I was remembering about how we met,
about how you knew me before I knew you,
about how you wanted to get my attention.
So many times before I knew you,
I would pass by your place
half noticing the lovely things
you had on display.
But I was too busy on some errand or other
to stop and come in and see the work
of your beautiful, strong, sensitive hands.
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One time, passing northward on business,
I did notice a piece I called Winter Trees
for lack of a better name.
They touched me.
You somehow made the life of them
shine through their leaf-shorn, dry form.
Ah, but you surprised me.
Later that morning,
when I was heading back,
I saw them from a different view
and I saw that they were clad in crystal,
I was able to picture an ice storm,
blowing from the north,
covering one side of them in diamonds.
It was a magical sight.
I think you somehow knew
that I'd pass back that way,
and you placed the light just so.
It worked.
I was stunned by the surprise
and the beauty of it...
A crystal forest.
I wondered how it was done.
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You knew me even then
but I didn't know you.
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It turns out I knew some of your other work,
but I didn't even know you existed.
But you knew me,
and, even then, you loved me from afar.
I know that now,
but at the time,
I had no idea.
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Later on, I found out you had worked
with that composer I like
on that music I loved so much.
I would listen and sing
and be transported by the passion
and depth of it,
little knowing that, one day,
I would discover
and fall in love
with the one who had created it.
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Before I knew you,
you spoke to me in your quiet voice.
You spoke to me in the beautiful things that you made.
The things you made with such love and passion.
You were speaking to me,
And I didn't hear.
How could I have been so deaf?
So deaf to the quiet,
loving voice that sings to me
and can move me more
than a chorus of a thousand angels
shouting hosannas to the heavens?
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But my foolish ignorance
didn't sway you one bit
from your perfect love for me.
And I cherish the mystery
of that one constant in my life.
And I am in awe of the fact that you,
who are wiser than anyone else I know,
you, who know me better than I know myself,
nevertheless love me
with a depth
that passes my understanding...
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I cherish you.
Finding you and loving you
and being loved by you
gives me, for the first time,
a glimpse of my true value
and sheds a light of meaning
deeply into my life.
Thank you for being there.
Thank you for finding me,
and loving me.
And thank you for helping me to find
- and love - you.
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Thank you, God, for the joy of your light in my life. Love, Jeff.
A Thanksgiving Day Grace offering from a recent
graduate of the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults program,
baptized into the Roman Catholic Faith on Easter, 1996.
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